Yeah Gurl, I Retouched Your Ass Twice!

Post: Hello! What’s popping honey boo boo? Have you had the Passion Fruit juice from Welch’s? That stuff is so good. It keeps my life festive. My mom’s out of town so I’m all alone this weekend. So I’ve got the carton of juice by my side with a straw in it. She’d be appalled at my behavior, like I’m the duchess of york or something. There’s no point in using a cup if I’m gonna be the only person drinking it except me, Mother. I left the orange juice carton alone for any potential visitors. I kinda wish two creepy guys would try to break in and steal all out money and I could make booby traps for them. I doubt they’d be after our money, but more after my boobies, but they wouldn’t get neither. They might get a cup of orange juice. Or I’d give them the passion fruit juice with plenty of backwash, but then I would’ve wasted potential drinking juice. I guess they’ll just remain thirsty. One might wonder, “Why is Madonna staring at me almost like Nicki Minaj from those Vevo ads on Youtube when I’m clearly watching a Justin Beiber video?” Well sir, I’m dreadfully bored. I’ve already walked the dog, drove around aimlessly, touched myself thrice, ate and drank (passion fruit juice of course), so what else is there to do? I’m out of weed and I don’t wanna do it alone. Second Life has made me a bit bored, so I decided to try my photoshop skills on real people. I need these skills for my future flaws and blemishes because currently my face is like a baby’s bottom, minus the shit. Why Madonna… again? She’s got the skin. Her skin is so easy to photoshop because its creamy white and she’s got good makeup people. Pre photoshop makeup is essential for good photoshop, I can’t fucking make your discolored green ass face completely white. I guess you could potentially do that, but I just don’t know how yet. Anyways, I came upon this picture of her in 1987. She’s not naked, she’s got clothes on, unlike me. Hold your horses fellow perverted readers, I do have undies and a bra on. No, I’m not going to describe them to you or slip my hands under them. How dare you ask such a thing? Well, that’s pretty much it. Go buy some passion fruit juice, get some passion in your life or digestive system.

I did the one of the left if you were wondering. The touched by moi was supposed to be humorous. You should chuckled now.

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